The Dog's Diary - Place of Plants
by Natmonkey
Summary: Stubbs has finally managed to jot another entry into his diary. This time he's in the Brecilian Forest and having trouble finding a playmate.


_Oh yes, I'm sort of back. Still working on AdF16, but in the meantime there is this. Another breakdown of the characters in here: Tin Can - Alistair / Stick - Jowan / Giant -Sten / "nice female" - Leliana / Astoreth, or "the lady" - human female mage / "angry female" - Morrigan / White Hair - Wynne / Firefur - Oghren / Pointy Ears - Zevran / "the statue" - Shale. The reasoning behind this, if you're only just tuning in, is that the dog makes up his own names for everyone. If anything is still unclear, feel free to PM me and I will answer any questions you have._

* * *

Ah... Everything here smells so fresh! Must be because this place is made of plants. I like it. Much better than the smell of blood. The pointy-eared humans here don't like the lady and her friends. That's weird. _I_ like her a lot. Maybe not all of her friends, but most of them. They're nice. Usually. I miss Stick. Stick was so awesome. His treats were the best.

"Where-wolves"? That hairless male in the dress said that. If those where-wolves are here, wouldn't they be "here-wolves"? Or "there-wolves", if they are somewhere else? I don't know where-wolves. Only normal wolves. They're like dogs, only different. Angry female can be a wolf if she wants to be. Weird, huh? I can only be a dog. The lady can only be a human. The giant can only be a giant. The statue can only be a statue. Angry female is special. I like her. Playing with her was fun. "Angry female?" I lick her hand. "Will you play with me again?"

"Absolutely not!" She swats my head. "Be quiet, beast. I am in no mood to deal with your silliness now. Go; bother your mistress." Angry female walks away.

Aww... No playing. So sad. I'm not even going to try; I know what she is like. Where _is_ everybody? I'll just follow the lady. She's going somewhere with White Hair. White Hair is talking a lot. I don't get most of it. She's sad, though. Poor old lady. Awww... "Please don't be sad, White Hair. I think you're awesome." Yay, she's petting me! Joy.

**~*|'-'|*~**

Heh, the lady was angry. She didn't do anything, but I could tell she was angry. That man was mean to her. It's not her fault she's a human. Ooh, I love it here. So fresh. Lots of things to see. Hey, look who's here. "Hi, Tin Can!" He even brought Pointy Ears, who isn't looking very happy. Tin Can is talking to the lady. Why aren't you petting me? Pet me! Someone? Aww... Fork. No, that's a bad word, even though the lady says it all the time. Naughty Stubbs. Hey, why are they laughing? I want to have fun too. Pointy Ears is angry at Tin Can. Why can't we all just get along? I trust Pointy Ears a lot more than I used to. He isn't dangerous at all. In fact, I think he really likes the lady. She likes him too, see? Wait. Why is she petting him and not me? Not fair. I'm leaving.

Humph. Dogs need love too, you know. Lots of it. I'm going to look for someone else to pet me. Angry female is close by; I can smell her. Yes, yes, there! Behind that tree. Aw, she doesn't have any time for me either. Her face is stuck to someone else's. Strange human habit, pushing their mouths together. Oh no! She isn't eating him, is she? The smears on that male's face look like blood. Doesn't smell like it. Not blood, then. Good. Ew, I don't want to watch this.

Who else would want to play with me? Hey, I found a stick. Stick would've played with me, if he wasn't too busy mating with the lady. I miss Stick. "Giant?" Look at him, sitting here. "Are you sleeping?" His eyes are closed. I drop the stick at his feet.

"No, I am not," he says, not opening his eyes. "I am centering myself."

"Oh." I don't even... "So, no playing? I have a stick."

The giant grunts. "Come back later."

Fork. The lady says it too. Feels good to say bad words. I pick up my stick. Oh, here is the statue. "Hey, statue, what are you doing?" Nothing, I think. It just stands there, staring at the giant.

"Leave me alone, dog, I am occupied." It tries to kick me, but I'm good at dodging. "Oh, that frame, those muscles, all that power, oh _yes_..." Is that drool? I didn't know statues could drool. Only me and the lady's puppy do that a lot, I thought. I was wrong. So scary. Going away now.

It's so boring. Maybe I should take a nap. But I want to play! It's not the time for naps. Fork, fork, fork. Nobody loves old Stubbs. I could stay here, I think. The pointy-eared people might need a good, strong mabari for something. Maybe they will hug me, and pet me, and-...

"There you are, beautiful boy!" Nice female hugs me. "What have you been up to, hmm?" How she pets is amazing. Great hugs, too. She takes my stick. "Shall we play?"

Oh boy, wishes do come true!

**~*|'-'|*~**

"No, lady, don't go without me!" I need to protect you. "I want to come with you." I grab her sleeve and pull. "Please?" She needs me, you know. Tin Can is good and all, but he can't do everything.

"I'm sorry, sweetie." The lady sits down, hugging me. "I need you to stay behind and protect Collin, all right?" Her hands are warm on my ears. "You'll do a good job."

My tail starts wagging, all on its own. "Yes! Of course I will." The puppy needs me too. It's so small and helpless. "Good luck then, lady. Come back soon." I give her big kiss. "I will miss you."

"Aw, sweetie, I wish you would stop that," says the lady, wiping her face. No chance. I love giving my lady kisses. She is the best ever. I like watching her and the puppy. She loves it so much. "Thank you for keeping an eye on my boy," she tells the angry female. "I will be back as soon as I can."

Angry female nods. "You had better make sure of that, my friend. Your child will only tolerate your absence for so long."

The lady says nothing. There they go into the forest: the lady, Tin Can, White Hair and the statue. I know the lady is sad to leave her puppy behind. But she has to. It can't come with her. Too dangerous. I feel sad for them. "Angry female? Can I stay with you and the puppy?"

"Those are your orders, are they not?" She smiles (_smiles_!) at the puppy and looks around. "Come. Let us find a place to settle down." Angry female chooses a big tree with soft grass at the base. "This looks suitable." She sits, her back against the tree. The lady left some food here. Hm, a snack would be nice.

"I approve." The grass feels good against my belly. Comfy. "Hi, puppy!" It makes a noise and touches my nose. It's so cute. "Who is a good puppy? Yes, you are!" Oh my Dog, it's almost as cute as I am.

Even angry female likes it. She is speaking to it and petting its little face. The puppy laughs, grabbing one of the sparkly round things around her neck with its little paws. "My, you are a curious little fellow." Everything it does is adorable. I could learn from it. More petting for me then.

"Angry female, why does the puppy smell so different now?" Sniff. What is that? I have smelled it before. Oh, I know. "Is it poop?"

Her nose wrinkles. "I believe you are correct. Ugh, the stench is well nigh unbearable." She peels off the puppy's outer fur, which is still weird, and there it is. Poop. Wow, puppies poop _a lot_. "Well, Collin, I can hardly wait until you are house-trained," says angry female, wiping its butt. "Then you may do this for yourself."

"I don't know, smells fine to me." Poop isn't so bad. Everybody poops.

"Get away from there, filthy creature." Angry female makes a hole in the ground to bury the poop and stuff in and puts the skin back on the puppy. It's laughing again; I bet it's because angry female looks so funny. "Oh, now we must find another place to sit. I cannot stand the smell."

Good thing there so much room here.

**~*|'-'|*~**

"Lady! You're back!" That didn't take as long as I thought. "We had so much fun. Your puppy is awesome."

The lady smiles, a bit sad. "I'm sorry, Stubbs, we'll be leaving again soon." No! Aw, I thought she would stay. At least she is here for now, visiting the puppy. What is angry female doing, touching the lady's teats? Oh, I see. That's where she keeps the puppy's food. Duh... I drank from my mother's teats too, when I was a puppy. Makes sense. Firefur is watching the lady and angry female collect the food. He likes what he sees, I guess. Look at him smile. Aw... I haven't seen him this happy in a while. He usually drinks a lot of stinky water and then cries until he falls asleep. That's not good. Firefur needs hugs.

"Hey! Tin Can!" I run around my friend. "Can we play, just a little?" Oh boy, I hope we can.

"Well, if it isn't my favourite critter in the whole world," says Tin Can, stroking my ears. "Found a stick, did you? Not that they're few and far between, in this forest." He takes the stick. "Ready?" Run, run, run! Wow, he can throw _so_ far. The stick is somewhere between the plants here; is this it? No, that's not my stick. This one? Too small. This one is too pointy. Too thick. No, no, no.

I never thought I would ever say this, but this place of plants has too many sticks.


End file.
